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Good Dogs on a Bad Day

Part of Good Dogs

Illustrated by Tor Freeman
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The Secret Life of Pets meets Toy Story in a new illustrated series about a group of Very Good doggie day care buddies who follow a few of their wilder instincts, leading to hilarious chaos.

"Every day I read this book was the OPPOSITE of a bad day! These wonderful dogs took me on the adventure of a lifetime, one with tail-wagging twists and turns."–Bowen Yang, Saturday Night Live

Do good dogs have to be good all the time?
 
Hugo, Lulu, and King love going to doggy day care together. The super-friendly dogs there are very good listeners, and they always follow the rules, even at the park.

But then a new dog comes to town. Napoleon jumps on people, dives into fountains, and will do anything (really!) to get human food. The Good Dogs are shocked to see such canine chaos, but they also notice something else: Napoleon seems to be having a ton of fun.

That gets them thinking: Could being a little bit bad be a good idea?

Find out directly from Hugo, Lulu, and King as they tell you all about it!
Rachel Wenitsky (@RachelWenitsky) is a comedy writer and actor who has written for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live, and Reductress. She is the head writer and a co-host of The Story Pirates Podcast, a kids and family podcast on Gimlet Media.
David Sidorov (@DavidSidorov) is a comedy writer and director who has written for Alternatino with Arturo Castro, Odd Mom Out, The Gong Show, Billy on the Street, and Holey Moley. He was a field producer and director on The Rundown with Robin Thede, and was formerly a writer and director at The Onion.
Rachel and David are a married couple living in Brooklyn, New York. This is their first novel. They do not have a dog at the time of writing these bios, but hope that they will by the time you're reading this!

Tor Freeman (@tormalore) was born in London and received a degree in illustration from Kingston University. She has written and illustrated many children's books and was awarded a Sendak Fellowship in 2012. Tor has also been published in magazines and taught art to students of all ages.

Chapter 1

HUGO

 

Wake up, Enrique! Rise and shine!” Hugo said to his human boy, just like he did every morning. “Time for another fun and busy day!”

Hugo knew that to Enrique, his words just sounded like some excited whines and panting, but he was confident he was getting his point across. Hugo dropped a granola bar on Enrique’s face (for Enrique’s breakfast) and also brought a tennis ball (for Hugo’s fetch).

I wonder if Enrique will want to play before or after he eats, thought Hugo. Or, whoa, maybe before and after? And during? He wagged his fluffy golden tail and nudged Enrique’s arm with his head. It had been a while since Enrique had wanted to play at all in the morning, but maybe today was the day!

“Ugh! Come back in ten minutes!” Enrique said, rolling over in his bed and gently pushing Hugo away.

But Hugo knew that ten more minutes could make Enrique late for camp. Hugo liked to think of himself as not just the family dog, but also the family’s assistant and schedule keeper.

So he hopped onto the bed and licked Enrique’s face even more playfully. Enrique can’t resist waking up and playing with me now, he thought.

“Ugh, golden retrievers are the worst alarm clocks ever!” Enrique exclaimed.

Weird, thought Hugo. I feel like I’m the best alarm clock ever. Most alarm clocks can’t even drool!

At least it was working. Enrique was now awake and unwrapping the granola bar. Hugo tried nudging the tennis ball toward the bed again.

“Not now, Hugo,” Enrique mumbled groggily. He got up and kicked the ball away, sending it rolling under his dresser.

Great, Hugo thought. Now I’m gonna have to stare at the bottom of this dresser for an hour. But first, he had more work to do. He made his way to the next stop on his morning route, the kitchen. Surely the rest of the family would be happy to see him, and maybe someone else would want to play.

But Hugo quickly realized how wrong he was. The kitchen that morning was pure madness. Mom and Dad were running around wildly in their nice work clothes, barking at the kids and at each other. Zoe had accidentally spilled milk all over the table and was trying to push it back into the glass. Sofia was frantically running around looking for her backpack. Mom was shouting up the stairs to make sure Enrique was awake, while Dad was finishing packing everyone’s lunches. Hugo took a deep breath and quickly got to work making everyone’s lives easier.

First he grabbed Sofia’s soccer cleats from the hall closet. Sofia was ten in people years, and very good at soccer, even though Hugo still didn’t understand how humans could run without falling over, since they had only two legs.

Hugo padded back into the kitchen with the cleats hanging from his mouth just as Mom was asking Sofia, “Don’t you have soccer today?” Perfect timing, as always!

“Thanks, Hugo,” said Sofia, grabbing the cleats and shoving them into her backpack.

All the kids—Sofia, Zoe, and Enrique—had started running out to wait for the camp bus when Hugo caught something out of the corner of his eye. It was Zoe’s lunch, still sitting on the counter! Zoe was the youngest, only five years old, and was always forgetting things. Hugo whined and barked until Mom noticed the lunch bag and called out to Zoe. She ran back in, and Mom put it in her backpack. There, that was better!

“Thanks, Mom!” Zoe yelled, running back out the door.

“Thank Hugo!” Mom replied. “Oh, Hugo, I don’t know what we’d do without you!”

Just doing my job, ma’am, thought Hugo.

“He’d be better if he was still a little puppy, though,” said Zoe. “Puppies are so fun!”

Hugo looked down at his front paws sadly. When he was a puppy, everybody had fawned over him. Then he grew up, and everyone got busy. Should he have stayed a puppy? Was that even possible? He’d have to look into it. Mom quickly covered his ears with her hands, but he could still hear what she said.

“You don’t mean that, Zoe,” she said. “You need to grow out of this puppy phase.”

“I’ll never grow out of it! I love puppies,” said Zoe. “They’re so tiny and cute and new! I want a puppy for my birthday. Don’t forget. If I don’t get a puppy, my birthday will be ruined!”

Zoe could be a bit dramatic. But as he watched her put on her backpack, he was struck with a memory. Back when he was a puppy, that backpack had belonged to Sofia. He used to crawl inside of it before she left for preschool, and he was so small that he could fit his whole body in there with his little head poking out, barking happily. The whole family used to laugh and laugh, and talk about how funny it would be if Sofia took Hugo to school. Enrique would run around singing, “Backpack dog! Backpack dog! Hugo is a backpack dog!”

He loved making them laugh, but it had been a while since he had done anything that silly. If he tried crawling into Zoe’s backpack now, there was no way he would fit, not to mention it would make her late for the bus. Hugo missed the feeling that he was making his people happy just by being himself. Maybe his family hadn’t become too busy. Maybe he’d become less fun. He tried to shake off this thought, lift his tail, and return to his normal, helpful self.

“Well, you’d better think of some other presents you might want,” Mom told Zoe. “Or it’s going to be a pretty disappointing birthday.”

Hugo gave Zoe a big lick on the cheek. No hard feelings, he thought. Kids will be kids.

Zoe sulked out the door right as the bus was arriving, and all three kids climbed on.

Suddenly the house was very quiet, but it still wasn’t calm. Mom and Dad were buzzing around, grabbing all their papers for work and putting them into various folders and briefcases. Hugo didn’t know what they did all day, but he guessed it had something to do with paper. Maybe they ate the paper? If so, they were very lucky.

Hugo grabbed another tennis ball and pushed it toward Mom, but she waved him away.

“Not now, Hugo! I’m sorry.”

That’s okay, thought Hugo. I still have lots to do to keep busy. I’ll just go get ready for my morning walk. So he went back to the hall closet, picked up his leash in his mouth, and sat by the door.

Finally Mom noticed him.

“Oh no,” she said, looking at Hugo and then at her watch. “I have a nine o’clock meeting; I can’t walk Hugo.”

Dad looked at his watch and frowned. Humans were always looking at their watches and frowning, Hugo noticed.

“I’m teaching a class at nine fifteen,” said Dad.

“Well, he’ll just have to go to Good Dogs, then.”

“More doggy day care? We spent two hundred and fifty dollars there last month! For that price, Hugo should be learning how to read and write.”

Hugo knew this was a joke, but he was a bit dis- appointed that Dad didn’t realize he could read. It was just that whenever he tried to read out loud, everyone told him to stop barking.

Hugo followed the conversation back and forth.

“What else can we do? He needs to get exercise.”

“I thought Enrique agreed he would start walking him in the mornings. That kidbegged us for a dog. And now—”

“You know the kids love having a dog, but—” Mom looked down at her watch again. “Oh shoot,” she groaned. “I really have to go.”

She grabbed Hugo’s leash, and they headed out the door, down the tree-lined street dotted with charming little houses. One of those houses, around the corner, was Good Dogs.

Hugo liked going there. The owner, Erin, was really nice and always gave good pats and scratches, but he couldn’t get something Mom had said out of his head:The kids love having a dog, BUT . . .

But what? Hugo had always thought he was an essential part of the household. The fuzzy, drooly glue that held it all together. Was he wrong?

"Equal parts hilarious and hair-raising, adventures abound, enlivened by expressive cartoon illustrations. The bright, energetic narration flows seamlessly among the dogs’ delightfully distinctive perspectives. . . This series starter is a doggone good time." -Kirkus Reviews

“Freeman illustrates throughout in a dynamic style reminiscent of William Steig. A story of redemption and unconditional love . . . this celebration of imperfectability and consensual squirrel-chasing features a cast of sympathetic canines who find that ‘sometimes it’s nice to just be a dog.’” –Publishers Weekly

"Laughs! Friendships! Mutts! BUTTS! Rachel and David obviously crawled into the brains of A LOT of dogs (and one squirrel) for this book, and the proof is in the pages!"
-Mindy Thomas, Wow in the World podcast
 
"Every day I read this book was the OPPOSITE of a bad day! These wonderful dogs took me on the adventure of a lifetime, one with tail-wagging twists and turns."
–Bowen Yang, Saturday Night Live
 
"A riveting insider's look at what it's REALLY like to be a dog living in the 21st century. Be a GOOD HUMAN and read this book to fully understand your furry masters."
--Rachel Bloom, co-creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
 

About

The Secret Life of Pets meets Toy Story in a new illustrated series about a group of Very Good doggie day care buddies who follow a few of their wilder instincts, leading to hilarious chaos.

"Every day I read this book was the OPPOSITE of a bad day! These wonderful dogs took me on the adventure of a lifetime, one with tail-wagging twists and turns."–Bowen Yang, Saturday Night Live

Do good dogs have to be good all the time?
 
Hugo, Lulu, and King love going to doggy day care together. The super-friendly dogs there are very good listeners, and they always follow the rules, even at the park.

But then a new dog comes to town. Napoleon jumps on people, dives into fountains, and will do anything (really!) to get human food. The Good Dogs are shocked to see such canine chaos, but they also notice something else: Napoleon seems to be having a ton of fun.

That gets them thinking: Could being a little bit bad be a good idea?

Find out directly from Hugo, Lulu, and King as they tell you all about it!

Author

Rachel Wenitsky (@RachelWenitsky) is a comedy writer and actor who has written for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live, and Reductress. She is the head writer and a co-host of The Story Pirates Podcast, a kids and family podcast on Gimlet Media.
David Sidorov (@DavidSidorov) is a comedy writer and director who has written for Alternatino with Arturo Castro, Odd Mom Out, The Gong Show, Billy on the Street, and Holey Moley. He was a field producer and director on The Rundown with Robin Thede, and was formerly a writer and director at The Onion.
Rachel and David are a married couple living in Brooklyn, New York. This is their first novel. They do not have a dog at the time of writing these bios, but hope that they will by the time you're reading this!

Tor Freeman (@tormalore) was born in London and received a degree in illustration from Kingston University. She has written and illustrated many children's books and was awarded a Sendak Fellowship in 2012. Tor has also been published in magazines and taught art to students of all ages.

Excerpt

Chapter 1

HUGO

 

Wake up, Enrique! Rise and shine!” Hugo said to his human boy, just like he did every morning. “Time for another fun and busy day!”

Hugo knew that to Enrique, his words just sounded like some excited whines and panting, but he was confident he was getting his point across. Hugo dropped a granola bar on Enrique’s face (for Enrique’s breakfast) and also brought a tennis ball (for Hugo’s fetch).

I wonder if Enrique will want to play before or after he eats, thought Hugo. Or, whoa, maybe before and after? And during? He wagged his fluffy golden tail and nudged Enrique’s arm with his head. It had been a while since Enrique had wanted to play at all in the morning, but maybe today was the day!

“Ugh! Come back in ten minutes!” Enrique said, rolling over in his bed and gently pushing Hugo away.

But Hugo knew that ten more minutes could make Enrique late for camp. Hugo liked to think of himself as not just the family dog, but also the family’s assistant and schedule keeper.

So he hopped onto the bed and licked Enrique’s face even more playfully. Enrique can’t resist waking up and playing with me now, he thought.

“Ugh, golden retrievers are the worst alarm clocks ever!” Enrique exclaimed.

Weird, thought Hugo. I feel like I’m the best alarm clock ever. Most alarm clocks can’t even drool!

At least it was working. Enrique was now awake and unwrapping the granola bar. Hugo tried nudging the tennis ball toward the bed again.

“Not now, Hugo,” Enrique mumbled groggily. He got up and kicked the ball away, sending it rolling under his dresser.

Great, Hugo thought. Now I’m gonna have to stare at the bottom of this dresser for an hour. But first, he had more work to do. He made his way to the next stop on his morning route, the kitchen. Surely the rest of the family would be happy to see him, and maybe someone else would want to play.

But Hugo quickly realized how wrong he was. The kitchen that morning was pure madness. Mom and Dad were running around wildly in their nice work clothes, barking at the kids and at each other. Zoe had accidentally spilled milk all over the table and was trying to push it back into the glass. Sofia was frantically running around looking for her backpack. Mom was shouting up the stairs to make sure Enrique was awake, while Dad was finishing packing everyone’s lunches. Hugo took a deep breath and quickly got to work making everyone’s lives easier.

First he grabbed Sofia’s soccer cleats from the hall closet. Sofia was ten in people years, and very good at soccer, even though Hugo still didn’t understand how humans could run without falling over, since they had only two legs.

Hugo padded back into the kitchen with the cleats hanging from his mouth just as Mom was asking Sofia, “Don’t you have soccer today?” Perfect timing, as always!

“Thanks, Hugo,” said Sofia, grabbing the cleats and shoving them into her backpack.

All the kids—Sofia, Zoe, and Enrique—had started running out to wait for the camp bus when Hugo caught something out of the corner of his eye. It was Zoe’s lunch, still sitting on the counter! Zoe was the youngest, only five years old, and was always forgetting things. Hugo whined and barked until Mom noticed the lunch bag and called out to Zoe. She ran back in, and Mom put it in her backpack. There, that was better!

“Thanks, Mom!” Zoe yelled, running back out the door.

“Thank Hugo!” Mom replied. “Oh, Hugo, I don’t know what we’d do without you!”

Just doing my job, ma’am, thought Hugo.

“He’d be better if he was still a little puppy, though,” said Zoe. “Puppies are so fun!”

Hugo looked down at his front paws sadly. When he was a puppy, everybody had fawned over him. Then he grew up, and everyone got busy. Should he have stayed a puppy? Was that even possible? He’d have to look into it. Mom quickly covered his ears with her hands, but he could still hear what she said.

“You don’t mean that, Zoe,” she said. “You need to grow out of this puppy phase.”

“I’ll never grow out of it! I love puppies,” said Zoe. “They’re so tiny and cute and new! I want a puppy for my birthday. Don’t forget. If I don’t get a puppy, my birthday will be ruined!”

Zoe could be a bit dramatic. But as he watched her put on her backpack, he was struck with a memory. Back when he was a puppy, that backpack had belonged to Sofia. He used to crawl inside of it before she left for preschool, and he was so small that he could fit his whole body in there with his little head poking out, barking happily. The whole family used to laugh and laugh, and talk about how funny it would be if Sofia took Hugo to school. Enrique would run around singing, “Backpack dog! Backpack dog! Hugo is a backpack dog!”

He loved making them laugh, but it had been a while since he had done anything that silly. If he tried crawling into Zoe’s backpack now, there was no way he would fit, not to mention it would make her late for the bus. Hugo missed the feeling that he was making his people happy just by being himself. Maybe his family hadn’t become too busy. Maybe he’d become less fun. He tried to shake off this thought, lift his tail, and return to his normal, helpful self.

“Well, you’d better think of some other presents you might want,” Mom told Zoe. “Or it’s going to be a pretty disappointing birthday.”

Hugo gave Zoe a big lick on the cheek. No hard feelings, he thought. Kids will be kids.

Zoe sulked out the door right as the bus was arriving, and all three kids climbed on.

Suddenly the house was very quiet, but it still wasn’t calm. Mom and Dad were buzzing around, grabbing all their papers for work and putting them into various folders and briefcases. Hugo didn’t know what they did all day, but he guessed it had something to do with paper. Maybe they ate the paper? If so, they were very lucky.

Hugo grabbed another tennis ball and pushed it toward Mom, but she waved him away.

“Not now, Hugo! I’m sorry.”

That’s okay, thought Hugo. I still have lots to do to keep busy. I’ll just go get ready for my morning walk. So he went back to the hall closet, picked up his leash in his mouth, and sat by the door.

Finally Mom noticed him.

“Oh no,” she said, looking at Hugo and then at her watch. “I have a nine o’clock meeting; I can’t walk Hugo.”

Dad looked at his watch and frowned. Humans were always looking at their watches and frowning, Hugo noticed.

“I’m teaching a class at nine fifteen,” said Dad.

“Well, he’ll just have to go to Good Dogs, then.”

“More doggy day care? We spent two hundred and fifty dollars there last month! For that price, Hugo should be learning how to read and write.”

Hugo knew this was a joke, but he was a bit dis- appointed that Dad didn’t realize he could read. It was just that whenever he tried to read out loud, everyone told him to stop barking.

Hugo followed the conversation back and forth.

“What else can we do? He needs to get exercise.”

“I thought Enrique agreed he would start walking him in the mornings. That kidbegged us for a dog. And now—”

“You know the kids love having a dog, but—” Mom looked down at her watch again. “Oh shoot,” she groaned. “I really have to go.”

She grabbed Hugo’s leash, and they headed out the door, down the tree-lined street dotted with charming little houses. One of those houses, around the corner, was Good Dogs.

Hugo liked going there. The owner, Erin, was really nice and always gave good pats and scratches, but he couldn’t get something Mom had said out of his head:The kids love having a dog, BUT . . .

But what? Hugo had always thought he was an essential part of the household. The fuzzy, drooly glue that held it all together. Was he wrong?

Praise

"Equal parts hilarious and hair-raising, adventures abound, enlivened by expressive cartoon illustrations. The bright, energetic narration flows seamlessly among the dogs’ delightfully distinctive perspectives. . . This series starter is a doggone good time." -Kirkus Reviews

“Freeman illustrates throughout in a dynamic style reminiscent of William Steig. A story of redemption and unconditional love . . . this celebration of imperfectability and consensual squirrel-chasing features a cast of sympathetic canines who find that ‘sometimes it’s nice to just be a dog.’” –Publishers Weekly

"Laughs! Friendships! Mutts! BUTTS! Rachel and David obviously crawled into the brains of A LOT of dogs (and one squirrel) for this book, and the proof is in the pages!"
-Mindy Thomas, Wow in the World podcast
 
"Every day I read this book was the OPPOSITE of a bad day! These wonderful dogs took me on the adventure of a lifetime, one with tail-wagging twists and turns."
–Bowen Yang, Saturday Night Live
 
"A riveting insider's look at what it's REALLY like to be a dog living in the 21st century. Be a GOOD HUMAN and read this book to fully understand your furry masters."
--Rachel Bloom, co-creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
 

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